It’s Been a Long Time . . .

I am currently happier than I have been in a long time. I still deal with a lot of daily stress as my life is heading almost out of control toward the future, which still seems so unclear to me, even though I have so much more figured out than I did a year ago. The whole “make it happen” part is pretty scary, but hey, I’m human and that’s just kind of how life works sometimes, and I am still perfectly content with the way things are going right now.

Actually this time last year I started this blog. I have been doing this for a year now, and it feels so crazy to think about. One day in February of 2017, I just started writing more, taking photos and investing more time into being creative; More time into what I love and enjoy. I also made several lifestyle changes that should be addressed.

I started putting myself first. I’ve said this once, but I will say it a million times more, if it gets to a point where you are emotionally drained from living in someone else’s story, take a step back and write your own narrative, even when it seems hard, and don’t feel guilty about it. I began investing all my efforts into other people’s situations, which was not so great for my mental health. Sometimes you just have to walk away, and that is okay.

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.” —Lalah Deliah

I removed toxic people from my life. It was so hard to say goodbye, but sometimes you just have to rip yourself out from someone else’s feet when they get a little comfortable walking all over you. I’m not a carpet, not even a flying magical one (even though that might be kind of cool, but alas, I’m not any kind of floor garment), so please don’t treat me like one.

“No matter the situation, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence.”

I’m being more hopeful for the future. I’m starting to believe this daydream of mine could actually become a reality. I  am allowing my dream to be the driving force towards my future. I have found something I am extremely passionate about and I put everything I can into it. If I want to turn this blog of mine into a small business someday, why can’t I?

I worry less about what people think, I still worry, just definitely not as much as I used to. I’m a little more carefree now, but only as carefree as a tightly coiled spring can be. She will loosen up from time to time, bounce a little, and have some fun. She doesn’t care about the height she’ll reach, as long as she bounces where she pleases and she’s happy along the way. She’s finally learned to stop comparing her abilities to others. She is finally free.

I ended all my Snapchat streaks. This may seem small or even completely unrelated to my happiness, but in our media-obsessed world, some people just live for maintaining their streaks, and I decided I wasn’t going to be like that because I’m not into pointless communication. If you need to tell me something, call me or text me. Send a message that’ll last.

I decided to stop worrying so much about my online connections with real people in my life and to start focusing more on my actual life connections with them. I have almost completely stopped using Snapchat and I can honestly say I feel like a whole new person, just by not utilizing one app.

Most of my friends are obsessed with keeping streaks, and I felt like it was starting to be like that too. I guess I’ve just decided that it matters more to me that I keep a streak of talking to my friends every day and having a real conversation with them than just sending them a random picture of my foot.

I’ve made it my mission to spread the love. It’s so hard and I know it is something everyone, you might not even realize it, but everyone struggles with, and that is spreading negativity and hate.

I know hate is a very powerful word, but it has a large bandwidth of reach, almost larger than that of love. Whether you are making a negative comment about someone, their personality, the sound of their voice, or more extreme by making degrading remarks about what makes them different than you, it all isn’t okay. I get it, we all need a good rant sometimes just to make yourself feel better, BUT if ranting about it will only get you more upset and cause your hatred to grow, it’s not worth it.

You’ve got to be able to rant, shake it off, and let it go. People will do or say whatever they want if they like and that is completely out of your control. If they don’t understand the consequences of their actions, that’s on them, but you cannot take their burning hate and negative vibes and allow it to fuel a hateful fire of your own. Then all that is left is a never-ending circle of hate and unhappiness and no one left to douse the flames. You are in control of your reactions and how you decide to deal with it proves what kind of person you are.

So please, just choose kind.

You’ll find a much yourself to be much happier by choosing that path.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyways.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

What are some life changes you have made recently to make yourself happier?

Thanks for stopping by,
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An American teenager documenting her life and the world around her one blog post at a time.

4 thoughts on “It’s Been a Long Time . . .

    1. You don’t even realize how much you do it until you completely stop. You’re right, I also stand by my decision, even though I know it’s not for everyone. Thank you for sharing!

  1. I’m loving the quote ‘she remembered who she was and the game changed’. The best positive move I’ve made lately is definitely this blog, feeling the same as you as in if I want this blog to be a business one day why can’t I? So many positive vibes. Also torn between fucking off the iPhone and getting one of those Nokia bricks (but then thinking my long term plan wouldn’t go too well if I cut myself off from social media haha) x x

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