Why Dating isn’t a Priority for Me as a Girl in High School

Of course, a lot has changed since I was a freshman in high school, but I still feel that many teenage girls going into high school get lost in the idea of having a boyfriend or a special someone. I know when I was a freshman I was the same way.

Anymore, I feel that girls are actually speeding down the fast track for maturity as so many teenage girls are getting involved in the women empowerment movement and other important activist groups of our time. I know so many girls that are only the age of thirteen and are blogging, working with brands, and spreading the messages of positivity and girl power online at age thirteen.

Although it really wasn’t that long ago I was a thirteen-year-old girl, I cannot imagine myself even beginning to understand the kind of issues taking place in our society today. Things were so different, and so many things have changed just in the past few years with social media. Girls are learning about important issues at a younger age, and they are paying attention.

High school is supposed to be a time of fun, but for me, and many other young women, it has become a time of growth, reflection, self-discovery, and a newfound awareness for what is happening in our world.

I am a seventeen-year-old girl trying to figure out how to turn her blog into a business. Like, I am seventeen. That is actually crazy to think about. Four years ago I would have never imagined myself doing what I’m doing now, trying to start my own business and trying to figure out how I can be a part of something that will have an impact in this world. It’s absolutely insane to me.

I only see the images of what I thought high school would be like. Having my best friends from junior high by my side, taking on the world, high school parties, and having a cute boy to dance with at the prom. Little did I know none of those things would pan out for me.

There was once a time where I couldn’t imagine going through high school without a “high school sweetheart.” I knew my mom had one so I just assumed I would, but I don’t, and that’s okay because times have changed so has what I want.

I am going through high school without one just like thousands, maybe even millions of other girls have and it’s totally acceptable, just not what is seen as “normal”.

I know most people from previous generations don’t understand this at all. They don’t understand why I would even want to go to a prom without being accompanied by a date, but I do. I’m going with my best friends because maybe I’ll have an even better time with them than I would a date because unless he has the stamina to dance like a lot, I honestly don’t think he could keep up, just saying.

I’m not mad I don’t have a special someone right now. I don’t even let it bug me. I’m quiet, pretty shy, don’t have a ton of confidence and I don’t like to put myself out there, so I’ve never given myself the opportunity to meet someone I really connect with. But you know what, I’m doing just fine without that for now.

I’ve gotten to use this time to learn to love and appreciate myself because how can I expect somebody else to love me if I don’t truly love myself?

I have a different focus. I’m learning things, lots of things. I’m learning about what it means to be a modern-day woman and I’m learning what female empowerment can do. I’m becoming aware of our history and the many prejudices that fog the eyes of members of our society and the misuse of power. I’m learning that the spreading of kindness and love can change things in this world. I’m learning that lifting people up, will, in turn, lift you up, and dragging people down only gets you closer to the ground. Most importantly, I’m learning about what it means to be happy.

I’ve had what we awkward folks call “things” with guys in high school, you know where you both are interested but it goes absolutely nowhere because you both are awkward as hell… Yeah, I’ve had lots of those and I’m just a little sick of them at this point.

I’m not saying if the right guy came along, I would push him away, but what I am saying is that it is 2018 and the search for Mr. Right in high school shouldn’t be your main mission. I promise you there’s always a chance to find love at any stage of your life. There are so many other things you can focus on during this short period of your life.

My main priority in high school is to surround myself with people who make me happy, who inspire me, who make me feel good, and who lift me up instead of bringing me down, so I can grow as a person, and focus on discovering who I am.

If I happen to meet a guy who wants to be a part of this journey I’m on, of course, I’ll be beyond excited, but if I don’t, I’m not going to be torn up about it. He’ll show up eventually, but until he does I don’t have any time to waste.

I am still trying to determine my place in this big beautiful, ever-growing world. I like to think that both plants and people require healthy environments for growth. So by surrounding myself with amazing people, I create a better environment for myself to grow into the person I want to be. If one of those people happens to be a guy who just so happens to want to be my boyfriend, great! But that’s not what my main goal is.

I am definitely not telling you that if you have a special someone in high school to dump them and set off on this quest because maybe your special someone is a part of your quest. I am just saying that if you don’t, it’s okay because there are so many other things to do and learn in high school that I guarantee will benefit you even more than algebra, english, or biology.

Learn who you are. Try new things, meet new people, attend that callout meeting for that club you’re interested in, go to the football game on Friday night, text that cute boy you sit next to in geometry, but don’t forget to stop and look in the mirror every once in a while and realize who you are. You might be surprised at who you meet.

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An American teenager documenting her life and the world around her one blog post at a time.

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